What is Anger Management coaching?
How to manage the inner force that overwhelms your senses and behavior, turning you into a version of the Incredible Hulk (minus the muscles).
We’ve all experienced some anger at some time in our lives, whether as a passing annoyance or as full-fledged rage where we feel like turning green and the incredible Hulk about to burst out of clothes. Anger is a fully natural and, in most cases, healthy human primary emotion.
However, when it becomes destructive and out of control, it may cause issues at work, in personal relationships, and in the general quality of your life. Anger might make you feel like you’re at the mercy of a volatile and powerful feeling.
But what exactly is anger and how is it triggered?
According to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, anger is “an emotional state that ranges in intensity from moderate annoyance to severe fury and violence.” When you are upset, your heart rate and blood pressure rise, as do your levels of energy hormones, adrenaline, and nor-adrenaline.
Anger can be triggered by both external and internal factors.
You may be furious at a specific person (such as a coworker or boss) or incident (such as a traffic jam or a canceled trip), or you may be upset as a result of fretting or brooding over personal concerns. Anger can be triggered by memories of painful or upsetting situations and when an incident occurs, you may recollect these past memories and get frustrated about results that we can’t always control. So, is anger related to lack of control over certain situation?
Anger Expression
Responding violently is the instinctual, natural method to show anger. Anger is a normal, adaptive response to dangers; it generates strong, often violent sentiments and behaviors that enable us to fight and defend ourselves when assaulted.
As a result, a certain level of rage is required for human existence.
We can’t, on the other hand, physically strike out at every person or item that upsets or annoys us; laws, societal conventions, and common sense limit how far our rage may go. People deal with their furious sentiments through a number of conscious and unconscious mechanisms. There are three approaches: expressing, concealing, and relaxing.
The healthiest approach to communicate rage is in an authoritative, rather than aggressive, manner. To do so, you must learn how to express your demands and how to get them satisfied without harming others. Being assertive does not imply being forceful or demanding; rather, it implies respecting yourself and others.
Anger can be controlled before it can be turned or redirected.
This occurs when you suppress your anger, stop thinking about it, and concentrate on something constructive. The goal is to control or restrain your anger and redirect it into more beneficial action. The problem with this sort of reaction is that if it is not allowed to show itself outside, your wrath might shift inward—on yourself. Anger directed inward can result in hypertension, high blood pressure, and depression.
Anger that is not voiced might lead to other issues.
It can result in pathological forms of rage, such as passive-aggressive conduct (reacting to someone indirectly, without explaining why, rather than addressing them directly) or a personality that appears eternally cynical and angry. People who are continually knocking people down, criticizing everything, and making cynical remarks haven’t learned how to vent their anger constructively. They are unlikely to have many successful partnerships, which is not unexpected.
Finally, you can internally relax.
This includes not just regulating your outward actions, but also your internal responses, such as taking efforts to reduce your pulse rate, calm yourself down, and allow the sensations to pass. According to Dr. Spielberger, “when none of these three strategies succeed, that’s when someone—or something—will get hurt.”
Anger control
Rage management is to lessen both your emotional feelings and the physiological stimulation caused by anger. You can’t get rid of, ignore, or change the things or people who irritate you, but you can learn to regulate your emotions.
Are you too enraged?
There are psychological tests that can assess the severity of your angry sentiments, your susceptibility to anger, and your ability to manage it. However, chances are you already know whether you have an anger issue.
What makes some individuals angrier than others ?
Some people, according to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, are more “hot-headed” than others; they become furious more easily and fiercely than the ordinary person. There are also some who are chronically irritated and unhappy but do not express their emotions in loud and dramatic ways.
People who are easily enraged do not necessarily curse and hurl objects; they may retreat socially, pout, or get physically unwell. People that are quickly irritated have what some psychologists refer to as a poor tolerance for frustration, which simply means that they believe they should not be exposed to irritation, discomfort, or aggravation. They can’t take things in stride, and they’re especially irritated if the situation appears unfair, such as being corrected for a tiny error.
What makes these folks the way they are?
Quite a few things.
One possible explanation is genetic or physiological :
There is evidence that certain children are born irritable, sensitive, and easily irritated, and that these symptoms appear at a young age.
Another possibility is societal.
Rage is frequently seen as bad; we are taught that it is OK to express worry, despair, or other emotions but not anger. As a result, we never learn to deal with it or channel it productively
According to research, family history also has a factor.
People who are quickly enraged typically come from turbulent, chaotic households that are not competent at emotional communication.
Is it healthy to “let it all hang out” ?
According to psychologists, this is a harmful misconception. Some people adopt this philosophy to justify harming others. According to research, “letting it rip” with rage raises anger and aggressiveness while doing nothing to assist you (or the person you’re furious with) handle the matter. It’s essential to figure out what causes your anger and then devise tactics to avoid those triggers from pushing you over the brink.
Anger management techniques
Relaxation
Simple relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and soothing images, can aid in the reduction of furious sensations. There are books and classes available that may teach you relaxation methods, and once you’ve learned them, you can use them in any scenario.
If you’re in a relationship with a hot-tempered spouse, it could be a good idea for both of you to master these strategies.
Here are some basic actions you may take:
Deep breathing from your diaphragm will calm you; breathing from your chest will not. Visualize your breath rising from your “gut.” Repeat a soothing word or phrase slowly, such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while taking deep breaths. Use imagery; picture a soothing moment from your memories or imagination.
Slow, non-strengthening yoga-like activities will relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Use these tactics every day. Learn to employ them naturally in stressful situations.
Resolving issues
Sometimes our rage and irritation are the result of very genuine and unavoidable challenges in our life. Not all anger is misdirected, and it’s frequently a good, natural reaction to these challenges. There is also a societal idea that every problem has a solution, which adds to our disappointment when we discover that this isn’t always the case.
The ideal attitude to bring to such a scenario is to focus on how you manage and face the problem rather than on finding a solution. Make a plan and track your progress as you go. Resolve to give it your all, but don’t blame yourself if you don’t get a response immediately away.
Even if the problem does not get addressed right away, if you approach it with the greatest intentions and efforts and make a sincere attempt to meet it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and slip into all-or-nothing thinking.
Improved communication
Angry individuals have a tendency to leap to conclusions and act on them, and some of those judgments can be highly erroneous. If you’re in a heated debate, the first thing you should do is slow down and think through your comments.
Slow down and think carefully about what you want to say rather than saying the first thing that comes to mind. Simultaneously, pay close attention to what the other person is saying and take your time before responding.
Pay attention to what is causing the rage.
For example, you want a certain degree of independence and personal space, but your “significant other” prefers more connection and proximity. If he or she begins to complain about your activities, do not counterattack by portraying your spouse as a jailer, warden, or albatross around your neck.
When you are chastised, it is normal to become defensive, but do not fight back. Instead, pay attention to what’s behind the words: the message that this individual may feel ignored and unwanted.
It may take some patient probing on your side, as well as some breathing space, but don’t allow your anger—or that of your partner—spin out of control. Keeping your calm might help you avoid a bad scenario.
Making use of humour
In a variety of methods, “silly humor” might assist diffuse wrath. For one thing, it might assist you in gaining a more balanced view. When you’re upset and call someone a name or use an inventive term to refer to them, take a moment to imagine what that word might actually look like.
According to Dr. Deffenbacher, the underlying message of very agitated persons is “things oughta go my way!”
Angry people sometimes believe that they are ethically correct, that any obstruction or change in their plans is an awful humiliation, and that they should not have to suffer in this way.
Perhaps others do, but not them!
When you have that impulse, imagine yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme monarch who owns the streets, stores, and office space, walking alone and having your way in all situations while others kowtow to you.
The more detail you can put into your imagined situations, the more likely it is that you are being unreasonable; you will also understand how insignificant the things you are furious over are.There are two things to keep in mind while employing comedy.
First, instead of just “laughing off” your difficulties, utilize humor to help you tackle them more productively. Second, avoid harsh, sarcastic humor; it’s just another harmful type of rage expression. These strategies all share an unwillingness to take yourself too seriously. Although anger is a severe feeling, it is sometimes accompanied with thoughts that, when analyzed, may make you chuckle.
Changing your surroundings
Sometimes it’s our immediate circumstances that irritate and enrage us. Problems and duties can weigh on you and make you upset at the “trap” you appear to have fallen into, as well as all the people and things that comprise that trap.
Schedule some “personal time” for periods of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a rule that for the first 15 minutes after she gets home from work, “nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire.”
She feels more equipped to face requests from her children after this little period of silence.
Other suggestions for loosening up on yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to argue when you discuss critical issues at night—perhaps because you’re sleepy, preoccupied, or it’s just habit—try adjusting the times when you discuss essential issues to avoid disagreements. Avoidance: If walking past your child’s disorderly room gets you angry, close the door.
Don’t force yourself to look at what irritates you. “Well, my child should tidy up the room so I don’t have to be furious!” don’t say. But it isn’t the point. The goal is to maintain your cool.
Finding alternatives: If your regular drive through traffic makes you angry and frustrated, make it a quest to discover or sketch out a new route that is less crowded or more picturesque. Alternatively, consider taking a bus or a commuter train.
Do you require anger management coaching?
If you feel your anger is becoming unmanageable and impacting your relationships or important areas of your life, consider seeking coaching to help you regain control. We provide coaching specifically for anger management, using approaches similar to those of psychologists or psychiatrists, but without the option of medication.
Any licensed psychologist or other certified mental health practitioner can help you create a variety of approaches for altering your thoughts and behaviors. Speak to your therapist regarding your anger issues that you wish to work on, and inquire about his or her approach to anger management.
Make sure this isn’t just a strategy to “get in touch with and express your feelings”—that might be the source of your problem. A highly furious individual, according to licensed psychologists, can get closer to a moderate range of anger in 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the conditions and strategies utilized.
“Content shared above came from Online sources related to anger management and treatment“