Dating and Relationship

Understanding the signs of a very toxic relationship with narcissistic people

Sometimes, when living with someone who is abusive or toxic, we tend to come up with reasons as to why they behave that way. At times, we can relate their toxic behavior to stress, or that we did something that aggravated or rubbed them the wrong way. We also attribute their jealous or controlling behavior to love towards us, as this is a reason as to why they don’t let you meet with friends or go out and socialize.

Most narcissist people have very similar behavioral traits that may include, but not limited to: gaslighting, isolation, lack of respect, controlling attitudes, financial dictatorship and so much more. Being in this kind of relationship may not appear troubling to you, but looking from the outside in can be very toxic.

Here are some signs that you are in a toxic relationship:

1. They are always trying to isolate you by claiming that your friends are bad influences

If someone is trying to isolate you from your friends and calling them bad influences, it could be a sign of controlling behavior or manipulation. This kind of behavior is often seen in abusive relationships, where the abuser tries to cut off the victim’s support system and make them dependent on them.

By isolating you from your friends, the person may be trying to gain control over you and limit your access to people who could provide you with different perspectives, emotional support, or advice. By calling your friends “bad influences,” they may be trying to make you doubt your friendships and make you feel like you need to rely on them instead.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. If someone is trying to isolate you from your friends or control your relationships, it may be a red flag. It’s important to speak up and seek help if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a relationship.

2. They start looking at your food log and control what you can eat or not eat

If someone is trying to control what you eat or not eat, it could be a sign of controlling behavior, manipulation, or an eating disorder.

Controlling behavior and manipulation can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship, where the person is trying to exert power and control over you. This behavior may be driven by their own insecurities or a desire to feel superior. They may try to control what you eat in an attempt to make you feel dependent on them or to limit your autonomy.

It’s important to remember that everyone has the right to make their own choices about food and their body. If someone is trying to control what you eat or not eat, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is not acceptable and may be harmful to your physical and mental health. It may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional to help you address the situation.

3. All of your thoughts and dreams are questioned, just like when being a young teenager

If someone is trying to control your thoughts and dreams, questioning you, and treating you like a teenager, it could be a sign of controlling behavior and a lack of respect for your autonomy.

This behavior is often seen in unhealthy relationships, where one person tries to exert power and control over the other. By trying to control your thoughts and dreams, the person may be trying to limit your ability to think for yourself and make your own decisions. By treating you like a teenager, they may be trying to infantilize you and make you feel like you are not capable of making your own choices.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. If someone is trying to control your thoughts and dreams or treating you like a teenager, it’s important to speak up and set boundaries. Let the person know that you do not appreciate their behavior and that you have the right to think for yourself and make your own decisions. Be clear and assertive about your boundaries, and do not let the person guilt-trip or manipulate you into changing your mind. If the behavior continues despite your boundaries, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being.

4. They always want you to invest most of the time with them in the name of love

If someone wants to be with you all the time, is clingy, and not letting you go out with friends, it could be a sign of controlling behavior and a lack of respect for your boundaries and independence.

This behavior is often seen in unhealthy relationships, where one person tries to exert power and control over the other. By wanting to be with you all the time and not letting you go out with friends, the person may be trying to limit your social interactions and make you dependent on them for your social needs. They may also be trying to isolate you from your support system, making it harder for you to leave the relationship.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. If someone is being clingy and not letting you go out with friends, it’s important to speak up and set boundaries. Let the person know that you appreciate their interest in spending time with you but also need your space and independence. Be clear and assertive about your boundaries, and do not let the person guilt-trip or manipulate you into changing your mind.

If the behavior continues despite your boundaries, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being. Remember that you have the right to make your own choices and spend time with the people you care about.

5. Financial dictatorship: Even when you are the breadwinner

If someone tries to control your spending and acts as a financial dictator, it could be a sign of controlling behavior and a lack of respect for your autonomy.

Controlling behavior is often seen in unhealthy relationships, where one person tries to exert power and control over the other. By trying to control your spending, the person may be trying to limit your financial independence and make you dependent on them for your financial needs. They may also be trying to limit your ability to make your own choices and prioritize your own needs.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. If someone is trying to control your spending, it’s important to speak up and set boundaries. Let the person know that you appreciate their concern but also need the ability to make your own choices and prioritize your own needs. Be clear and assertive about your boundaries, and do not let the person guilt-trip or manipulate you into changing your mind.

If the behavior continues despite your boundaries, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being. Remember that you have the right to make your own financial choices and prioritize your own needs. If necessary, seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or financial professional to help you address the situation.

6. Condescending attitude towards you using gaslighting strategies

If someone has a condescending attitude towards you and gaslights you, it could be a sign of emotional abuse and manipulation.

Condescending behavior involves speaking down to someone and treating them as if they are inferior or incompetent. Gaslighting involves manipulating someone’s perception of reality and making them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and memories.

Together, these behaviors can be a form of emotional abuse, where the person is trying to exert power and control over you. By speaking down to you and making you doubt your own thoughts and feelings, the person may be trying to undermine your self-confidence and make you more dependent on them for validation and support.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. If someone has a condescending attitude towards you and gaslights you, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is not acceptable and may be harmful to your mental health. It’s important to speak up and set boundaries. Let the person know that you do not appreciate their behavior and that it is not acceptable. Be clear and assertive about your boundaries, and do not let the person guilt-trip or manipulate you into changing your mind.

So here it is, ladies and gentlemen. the many different signs that you may or someone close you know be in a toxic and controlling relationship. Always seek support when you feel their behavior is going out of hand. Remember that you are still in control but longer you stay, and more power you award them. Detach yourself from that situation at all cost as it may cost you long term.

 Best of luck

The many danger of dealing with a “clinger” in a romantic relationship. When a serious conversation is a must to avoid falling deeper into a rabbit hole!

Codependency in romantic relationships is a complex issue that has been extensively studied by researchers and mental health professionals. They are characterized by a dynamic where one partner excessively relies on the other for emotional support, validation, and identity. In a this type of relationship, the codependent partner neglects their own needs and puts the needs of their partner before their own, often to the point of self-sacrifice. It’s important to note that codependency can be harmful to both partners in the relationship and can lead to emotional and psychological distress. If you suspect that you or your partner may be struggling with codependency, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy can help both partners develop healthier communication and coping mechanisms, establish healthy boundaries, and learn to prioritize their own needs and desires. Let’s dig a bit deeper into the mental health challenge many faces when dealing with someone who is co-dependant. Yes, having someone who loves you to a point of gravitating their life around you, just like Earth graviating around the Sun is alluring, but it can get quite toxic long term. Let’s discuss the common characteristics of a codependent relationships:

1. Definition of Codependency: Codependency is a condition where one partner in a romantic relationship has an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on the other partner. This can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where the codependent partner neglects their own needs and focuses solely on the needs of the other partner.
2. Childhood Trauma: Many researchers believe that codependency may be linked to childhood trauma, such as emotional or physical abuse, neglect, or abandonment. Codependent individuals may have learned to suppress their own needs and feelings as a coping mechanism to survive in a dysfunctional family environment.
3. Enabling Behavior: Codependent partners often engage in enabling behavior, where they protect their partner from the negative consequences of their actions. This can lead to a cycle of dependency where the partner continues to engage in harmful behaviors without any accountability.
4. Low Self-Esteem: Codependent individuals may struggle with low self-esteem and may seek validation and approval from their partner. They may also have a fear of abandonment and may go to great lengths to avoid being alone.
5. Fear of abandonment: Codependent partners may have a fear of abandonment and may go to great lengths to avoid being alone. They may also feel responsible for their partner’s happiness and may sacrifice their own needs to ensure that their partner is happy.
6. Lack of boundaries: Codependent partners often have weak or non-existent boundaries, which can lead to the codependent partner feeling overwhelmed and resentful.
7. Emotional instability: Codependent relationships can be emotionally unstable, with the codependent partner feeling anxious, depressed, or angry when they are not with their partner. They may also feel a sense of relief or validation when their partner needs their help or support.

So what can be done when dealing with someone who creates this co-dependency and what key strategies you can utlize to better manage these bouts of jealousy when distancing yourself from the situation:

1. Set boundaries: It’s important to set clear boundaries with the codependent person and communicate them in a calm and assertive manner. This can help prevent the codependent person from overstepping your boundaries and enable you to prioritize your own needs and desires.
2. Encourage self-care: Encourage the codependent person to engage in self-care activities such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques. This can help the person develop a stronger sense of self and reduce their reliance on others for emotional support.
3. Provide support: While it’s important to set boundaries, it’s also important to provide emotional support to the codependent person. Listen to their concerns and offer validation and encouragement when appropriate.
4. Seek therapy: Suggest that the codependent person seek therapy or counseling to address their codependency. Therapy can help the person develop healthier coping mechanisms and establish healthier boundaries.
5. Be patient: Codependency is a complex issue and it may take time for the person to change their behavior. Be patient and understanding, and avoid blaming or criticizing the person.

It’s important to remember that codependency is a two-way street, and it’s possible that both partners in a relationship may engage in codependent behaviors. If you suspect that you may be codependent, it may be helpful to seek therapy or counseling for yourself as well.

7 expectations wives have towards their husbands to keep them happy, day in and day out.

Males are more concerned with passion and enjoyment in a relationship/marriage than their counterparts. In general, women are more emotional in relationships, whereas men are more concerned with keeping things light and entertaining. While passion is necessary to maintain a relationship, males are more emotionally affected by its absence. Sometimes, communication is broken and none of the spouse are willing to express themselves accordingly, and if they do, the other spouse tend to shut down and avoid conflict. It is not uncommon to have ONE of the two parties to wanting to discuss the challenges in the marriage, while the other will always think everything is going smoothly. The flight or flee attitude kicks in and without addressing the situation properly, the marriage can face worst problems long terms.

Understanding your spouse’s needs and how to meet them is one of the most crucial components of marriage.
But do you know what a woman, in particular, need in a marriage?

Fortunately, we’re here to assist couples who are having difficulty figuring it out.

For example, communication is critical, but how frequently should you communicate?

How should it appear? Even sex is essential, but how frequently should you make love?
Wives and husbands do not see eye to eye on everything and we tend to see why with the many memes circulating over the internet as to what women expect from their men in relationship. While men are simple creature and prefer a peaceful life with good food, lots of sex and a nurturing spouse, the list is somewhat short to make them happy. On the other hand, we look at the list of expectation from wives towards husbands and it is a long as the diameter of planet Earth. Why do we see such a large distinctions between genders related to expectations?

A fulfilling marriage for both partners is influenced by a number of things.Yet, we have some advice for couples who are confused how to satisfy their partner’s expectations in any aspect of their relationship. If you include these suggestions into your relationship, you will immediately notice that your wife is more satisfied and happier, and you will be pleased in your marriage as well.
Because everyone is unique, this list may not apply to all spouses.

Yet, after significant study, I am persuaded that the following “needs” represent the daily wishes of the majority of women.

What wives expects from their husbands.

1. To feel cared and loved with compassion.

A husband expresses his love for his wife by both his words and his deeds. A husband should tell his wife (at least once a day) that he loves her, but those words should be backed up with tenderness and thoughtfulness in his deeds.

2. To feel attractive to their spouse .

Whether a woman is dressed up to go out or wearing an old t-shirt around the home, she must feel beautiful in her husband’s eyes. A husband satisfies this demand by complimenting her, flirting with her, displaying tenderness, and having eyes solely for her.
A man can’t look at every lady walking by or on TV and then tell his wife he only has eyes for her.

3. To be hugged.

A woman’s yearning for physical intimacy is a constant longing. This can be satisfied by the spouse delivering a shoulder/back/foot massage at the conclusion of the day, as well as embraces and caresses throughout the day. Such touches satisfy both physical and emotional needs.

This includes sexual closeness, but women have a stronger desire for physical contact outside of the bedroom than males.

4. Emotional Validation.

Women prefer being validated than listened to. WE been thought that reflective listening is key for proper communication but what has more impact is validating her emotions and understand where they originate from. Understanding the non-verbal cues is crucial to better capture her moods and let her figure out the best solution. Sometimes, getting too involved can be detrimental to the relationship.

5. Being appreciated.

When a guy is considerate, he expresses love, care, gratitude, and respect for his wife. Appreciation isn’t only for romantic occasions; it’s a daily requirement and a necessary component of a healthy, happy marriage.

6. Being able to provide a safe environment for the family

Safe environment includes financial, as being the good provider, but also safe as feeling protected in case of major dilemma. Being the man of the house comes with great responsibilities. If you are not ready to provide for them in every aspect of relationship, it is important to determine if you are the right person for the job.

And FINALLY…. Well, it is not really final, as wives always want more and more from their spouses. It is important to find a good balance to what you can give and how much you can get back. Selflessness always work wonders but marriage is always a two way street.  

7. To be the best lover/lasting hours in bed, handyman, plumber, electrician, carpenter, roofer, landscaper, therapist/counselor, have 6 pack abs, be great step-dad, financial planner, tour guide, kind, nurturing etc………..

Sorry, i couldn’t find images for all of the attributes listed above.

So yes, this list may sound ludicrous when reading it but for many, these are the norms when it comes to expectations, and when these expectations are not meant, we face disappointments and when that happens, we get a very unhappy spouse.

Marriage or relationships are not easy, and keeping the passion is harder as you get older. Couples must understand that if they want to live in peace and serenity with each other, they must learn not to be expecting too much from the other, and allow themselves to compromise when things do not go their way. In marriage, “my way or the highway” will only take you to ONE major road: The divorce one.