Strategies in keeping a strong bond during marital conflict: Avoiding discussing about important issues can be detrimental to your relationship long term.
Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. If you never argue, it may indicate underlying issues in your relationship. Failing to get along during challenging times is common, and arguments occur in both personal and professional settings. However, it is important to keep arguments fair and free from insults and condescending remarks that harm both parties. Winning every battle is not the goal; choosing resolution and compromise is essential. Some couples may not argue often but prefer peace despite disagreements. How conflicts are handled varies based on each couple’s nature and the environment they create for each other in stressful moments.
It is important to understand that not all strategies listed below will work for every couple. What works for one couple may not work for another, even if the nature of their conflicts is similar. In cases where one party is narcissistic, conflicts can escalate quickly. Some conflicts may be resolved swiftly, while others may last for months. Couples often seek help only when they are at their breaking point, instead of being proactive. It is essential to offer options to the couple, and they can choose to apply one or multiple strategies from the list. Trial and error is necessary to determine what works best.
In relationships, it is common for people to either avoid conflict or distance themselves from their partner when conflicts arise. Some may believe that avoiding conflict can contribute to a healthy relationship, but this is not always true. However, there are situations where avoiding conflict, arguments, and fights can be a form of self-care.
Just like with anything, too much of one thing can have negative consequences. Engaging in excessive conflict or completely avoiding it can both harm your relationship. It can be difficult to determine whether you are withdrawing to avoid conflict as a way to punish your partner or if you are disengaging lovingly as an act of self-care.
Effective Communication: Communication is crucial. During conflicts, actively listen, express thoughts and feelings calmly and respectfully, and avoid blame or criticism. Use “I” statements to express needs and concerns without attacking your partner.
Empathy and Understanding: Strive to understand your partner’s perspective and emotions. Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their concerns.
Compromise and Collaboration: Seek mutually beneficial solutions by finding common ground and being open to compromise. Approach conflict resolution as a collaborative effort instead of a win-lose situation.
Respect Boundaries: Respect each other’s personal boundaries and allow space and time for reflection during heated moments. Avoid crossing boundaries or engaging in disrespectful behavior.
Conflict Resolution Skills: Develop effective conflict resolution skills like active listening, problem-solving, and negotiation. Consider professional help, such as couples therapy or counseling, to learn and practice these skills.
Emotional Support: Provide emotional support to your partner during challenging times. Show empathy, understanding, and reassurance. Be a source of comfort and encouragement for each other.
Cultivate Intimacy: Foster emotional and physical intimacy in the relationship. Engage in activities that strengthen the emotional connection, spend quality time together, express affection, and have open and honest conversations.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in self-care practices that reduce stress and promote overall health. Prioritizing self-care allows you to contribute positively to the relationship.
Remember, maintaining a strong bond and peaceful atmosphere requires continuous effort and commitment from both partners. View conflicts as opportunities for personal growth and learning, rather than sources of division. This process can change your approach to conflicts, enabling you to handle them in a mature and loving manner.
If your intention is to genuinely love yourself and your partner, it is crucial to remain open and receptive to the truth of what is happening in your relationship. On the other hand, if your intention is to protect, control, or evade, you will shut down and avoid facing the underlying pain in your unloving relationship. Whether you are experiencing conflict in a long-term marriage or a new relationship, it is important to assess yourself and ensure that you approach problems with self-care in mind, rather than simply avoiding them. This is essential because evading conflict and relationship issues may ultimately lead to the demise of your marriage.
Learn More