Navigating the complexities of interacting with a friend or family member who has recently disclosed their sexual identity. Understanding the do’s when offering support. As for the don’t, use common sense.
In the journey of self-exploration, many individuals reach a point where they feel the need to disclose their sexuality to friends and family without fear of judgment or criticism. Unlike decades ago, today’s society is generally more accepting, and what used to be considered taboo is now less stigmatized, allowing people to freely express their sexuality within their social circles. However, it’s not uncommon for some to still hold onto traditional values, potentially causing tension with friends and family when one decides to share their sexual identity.
This article aims to shift perspectives from outdated beliefs to a more understanding stance, focusing on supporting individuals navigating internal changes. Let’s stand as pillars of support, offering love, understanding, and acceptance. Your open-hearted approach can be transformative, creating a space where authenticity is celebrated, and the bonds between us grow stronger.
Supporting a friend or family member who has just disclosed their sexual identity is a crucial and compassionate act. The following are detailed steps and considerations on how to provide meaningful support:
-Listen Actively:
Give your friend your full attention.
Allow them to share their feelings, experiences, and thoughts without interruption.
Demonstrate empathy and understanding.
-Validate Their Feelings:
Acknowledge the courage it took for them to share their identity.
Validate their emotions, whether positive or challenging.
Express your acceptance and support.
-Educate Yourself:
Take the initiative to educate yourself about their sexual identity.
Learn about the challenges and experiences that individuals with similar identities may face.
This shows your commitment to understanding and supporting them.
-Ask Questions (If Appropriate):
If your friend is comfortable, ask questions to better understand their journey.
Be respectful and avoid prying or invasive inquiries.
Ensure that your questions come from a place of genuine curiosity and support.
-Use Inclusive Language:
Be mindful of using inclusive and affirming language.
Respect their preferred pronouns and terminology.
Avoid making assumptions or using outdated language.
-Offer Your Support:
Clearly communicate your ongoing support.
Let them know that you are available to talk or assist in any way they need.
Reassure them that your friendship remains unchanged.
-Respect Confidentiality:
Respect your friend’s privacy and confidentiality.
Do not disclose their sexual identity without their explicit consent.
Be cautious about discussing this information with others, even if you think it’s well-intentioned.
-Be Aware of Emotional Needs:
Understand that your friend may have various emotional needs.
Offer emotional support, but also be attentive to their desire for space if needed.
Encourage them to seek professional help if they express a need for it.
-Challenge Stereotypes and Bias:
Be an ally by challenging stereotypes and biases related to their sexual identity.
Advocate for inclusivity and equality in your interactions with others.
-Celebrate Milestones:
Celebrate important milestones in their journey.
This could include Pride events, personal achievements, or moments of self-discovery.
Demonstrate your ongoing support by actively participating in these celebrations.
-Connect Them with Resources:
Provide information about support groups, organizations, or online communities that cater to their specific identity.
Encourage them to seek out additional resources that may be beneficial.
-Be Patient and Understanding:
Understand that their journey may involve ongoing self-discovery.
Be patient and supportive as they navigate their identity.
Acknowledge that their feelings and experiences may evolve over time.
Remember, supporting a friend in their journey of self-discovery is a continuous process. Your genuine care, understanding, and commitment to maintaining a supportive environment can make a significant positive impact on their well-being.
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Dating Terminologies of the 21st century: Roller coaster of uncertainties and disappointments.
Dating in the 21st century can be daunting, to say the least. With the instant gratification mentality, it is all about how to satisfy our immediate needs without too much effort and invested time into the courting phase. If this is what you are looking for, then all the power to you. If you are looking for something more serious, it is crucial to make sure the other party in question is seeking for the same. However, how can you be sure of that? Proper communication is key so you can built rapport and trust towards each other. However, when the person “ghost” you after the first date, how can you built anything meaningful? Now, I am sure you have all come across many other “terms” when exposing yourself to online dating and certainly very frustrating. It is highly probable that many are familiar with some of the terms listed below, but I am also sure you aren’t aware of the many that pops up on a weekly basis in this challenging dating world we live in. So get ready for a not so exciting and aggravating roller coaster ride of terms and definitions you probably never heard of. These terms are not only experienced by yourself, as being the victim, but you can also be the one creating this toxic environment towards others you are dating without consciously being aware of your actions.
Breadcrumbing
When someone follows up with a romantic prospect on a regular basis, dangles the potential of a date, and keeps them intrigued, but never follows through on what they actually want: a relationship.
Cobwebbing
In order to move on, this act of selflove entails removing any artifacts from former relationships (old sweaters, text threads, or images). Many dating experts believes that keeping old phone numbers and images “keeps someone from being truly present and involved in their dating process.”
Cuffing
The act of being tied down to one partner, mainly during the colder months of the year, is derived from the phrase “handcuffed” (also known as cuffing season). Outside the cuffing season, being cuffed can also apply to someone in a committed relationship.
Cyberflashing
Sending unwelcome sexual photos to another person via digital methods, such as a dating app or social networking site, but also by SMS or another file-sharing tool, such as Airdrop.
Although there is no federal legislation outlawing cyberflashing, states such as California and Texas passed rules last year that allow victims to seek legal redress if they receive unwelcome sexual photos online. Some states are drafting laws to address this problem.
Cookie-jarring
When a person wants another person’s connection as a backup plan. Someone who is cookie-jarring seeks their backup person when the one they genuinely want isn’t accessible or has rejected them in the similar manner that individuals would go for a cookie when they want a quick delight.
Gaslighting
Manipulate someone into doubting their logic, perceptions, recollections, or comprehension of an incident that occurred. Typical techniques include outright lying, denial, and trivializing their sentiments, which can lead to an unhealthy power shift in a partnership.
Ghosting
The act of abruptly disappearing or breaking off all communication with someone you’re dating, in a relationship with, or who you’ve merely matched with online.
“Ghosting is incredibly dehumanizing, and a lot of people don’t realize that,” Dr. Jones said, adding that it may cause people to question their own worth and value as human beings.
“It frequently sets off abandonment triggers.”
Love Bombing
In order to obtain control of a new romantic partner, lavish them with extravagant gestures and continuous contact while also isolating them from friends and family. While not all extravagant expressions of devotion are red flags, love bombing might be difficult to detect.
Orbiting
When a person has shut off communication with another person or made it plain that they are not interested in continuing a relationship, yet they continue to communicate with that person on social media, typically through views and likes.
This also relates to the habit of stalking possible romantic partners on social media without making contact.
According to experts, many people, particularly women in heteronormative relationships, may misinterpret this as someone being explicit about their desire when it is not.
“People might be scrolling through social media while sitting on the toilet and enjoying posts,” she explained.
“It can imply absolutely nothing and it frequently does.”
Rizz
This contemporary notion is short for “charisma” and is popular among members of Generation Z. Many expert said it’s quite popular on TikTok and refers to someone’s skill to flirt with and captivate a possible love interest. This might include having an appealing personality or an underlying attraction that others find difficult to resist. The phrase was invented by Kai Cenat, a Twitch broadcaster and influencer, who stated that rizz originally refers to the capacity to attract someone who wasn’t initially interested in you.
Situationship
A romantic or sexual connection in which neither party communicates effectively enough to establish their status. Unlike “friends with benefits,” neither side in a situationship knows what the other is to them. This can be perplexing and lacks the constancy and support that an established connection provides.
Soft-Launching
Uploading a covert photo or video of your new partner on Instagram or another social media platform to announce your relationship while keeping their identity hidden. The idea is that you don’t want to write about them too soon on your account in case they don’t work out. Sharing images with merely your partner’s hands clasped in yours is one example. “You’re gradually introducing the concept that you all may be a thing,” Dr. Jones added.
“Everything is influenced by social media,” she explained. “It’s become the relationship’s third wheel.”
So here it is, the dreadful list of terms that most of you haven’t heard of but exists. It is also possible that you may read this list and feel guilty as you have somewhat created this environment to other victims without even being aware of your toxic actions. Regardless of being the victim or culprit, you can now be alert and aware of what can others do to you or you do to others.
It is a very difficult world out there so make sure to always stay safe, and when going on a date, make sure to let close friends or family be aware of your whereabouts. Watch out for the many psychopath whackos out there not expressing any empathy for human lives, excluding their own.
The 7 things most men fears in relationships/marriages! Based on clinical research.
Anyone who enters a relationship with a potential mate will always experience some kind of risk. Even though you are entering with the best mindset, you will experience challenges along the way. It gets harder when one of the two entering the relationship do not value the connection as much as you do which is why it will imminently end up in disaster. Women and men will face many fears throughout the relationship but these fears are different in nature. Nevertheless, when fear enters your mind, it will hinder your actions and behaviors and put you on a fight or fleet mindset. Here are 7 things men fear the most in relationships. Again, this is based on research, analysis, interviews with men sharing their deepest concerns when entering a new relationship. Love for someone can help alleviating problems, but love is not eternal and if proper communication isn’t present, you are left with just being roommates sharing expenses.
Either it just being 2 in the relationship or having kids, the level of fear increases as responsibility increase. The fears below are what most men shared during interviews.
1. Am I doing well financially?
Either working as an employee or being the employer, the stress level is somewhat similar. It is all about what you bring in as income to the household. Someone who makes 100 000 dollars yearly or 300 000$, the level of happiness doesn’t change much. It is more about what the amount they generate makes them feel. It’s what the value represents:
- If the company pays them a certain amount, they are valued that amount. For someone who never made more than 20 000$ per year and now makes 100 000, he will feel on cloud 9. The opposite can be for someone who used to make 1 million dollars and is now down to 300 000, his self perception will take a severe hit. The amount they bring in is the value they give themselves.
- Outside of self-perception: It is now about how others perceive you when they hear how much you get paid. Some who make very little may have huge amount of respect towards you because of your inflated income, while others may just see it as very little compared to what they make
- Sense of being a good provider: Not just to provide for himself but his family.
- Able to have hobbies: When you have more disposable income, you have the opportunity to have expensive hobbies
- Feeling of accomplishment: achieving high financial status is certainly great satisfaction
- Thinking more about a certain future: When money is not scarce, you can think about investing for college funds or other investment tools to guarantee a comfortable future
With the women liberation, we see more of them make as much as the men. We see for the same exact career, a woman will make 86.3 cents for each dollar made by the man for the exact same position and same amount of experience. We experience a small shift where women have more options when it comes to position of power in organization and more success than their male counterpart. Every men still feel they are primarily responsible.
Communicating about finances is crucial and you must be open to discuss all aspect of paying bills together. A joint effort related to responsibility towards bill payment must be addressed by both of you for easy navigation in life.
2. Have I achieve enough in life?
Men will look back in their personal achievement and ponder::
- What have I accomplished that I can be proud of?
- What am I leaving behind?
- How will anyone remember what have I contributed to our society?
- Have I achieved happiness in life?
- Will I be happier doing something else?
This self-evaluation leads to wondering if they are living life to their fullest.
How can you help with his many doubts? Put judgment aside and discuss the root cause of these doubts. What are his short- and long-term goals?
What does he desire for himself, and what does he require from you to make it a reality?
3. Job insecurities
During difficult economic times, many men find their job as a direct representation of their status, and once that job is lost, their status follows. It can create severe anxiety when during these challenging times. To overcome these fear, most will spend longer hours at work, put in some overtime to demonstrate their loyalty to the company they work for to minimize their chances of getting fired.
So if more time is put in for work, other areas of their lives will imminently suffer, including but not limited to: family, friends, and more. When the men is out of the home, many spouses will wonder if the husband is no longer interested in putting any work when it comes to family life.
How you can help him? Communicate with your spouse and share that you are aware of the difficult challenges ahead and that you will do anything and everything to support them. No matter what it takes, both of you will make it happen.
4. Am I losing attraction towards opposite gender?
We will all get older and become less attractive as time goes by. We see many billionaires investing in anti-aging formulas and to find the fountain of youth for eternal life. It is highly probably that we many not see this come to fruition anytime soon but to delay the aging process, proper exercise, nutrition, and getting enough sleep will slow down the process. Stay natural and avoid these TV or social media gimmicks telling you otherwise. Can’t beat time and the effect it has on us. When it comes to attractiveness, work on staying in shape and avoid taking any drugs, drinking alcohol or smoking. The results is staying smoking hot for the younger ladies.
5. Am I losing my physical health?
Similar to the point above, to stay attractive, you have to put in the effort and work hard on your health. A well maintained physic will give you more confidence and less time at the doctors. Even though it may feel challenging to work out at later age, it is crucial to avoid osteoporosis and other illnesses gained at later age. More time he spend working out, less time he will spend taking meds or visiting the Emergency room for illnesses.
6. Am I performing in bed?
Because more and more women tend to fake orgasm in bed, and many do a good job faking it, it is hard (no pun intended) for men to know if they are satisfying his significant other sexually. Despite the blue pill for performance enhancement capabilities in bed, we tend to see more men losing confidence doing their job in bed and give up intimacy altogether. It is important to take time to speak to him about what pleases you so you can work together for a blissful sex life.
7. Am I a good father?
Any father wants to be present in their kids life, and 50% of them do not have the opportunity to do so because most mothers keep over full custody of their children. The father is left with a few visitation days on alternate weekends. But for the rest who have the luxury to spend full time with theirkids, many of them still doubt their ability to provide for their kids in all aspect of fatherhood.
- Give them the tools to grow up as good human beings
- Share your knowledge so they can take it and mold it to their image and grow from it.
- Work life balance and be present with them during their most important times
Communicate and share with him that mothershood is as difficult, and most times, more challenging because of the amount of responsibilities lies primarily on the mother. Express your doubts as well that he is not alone.
Most importantly, everyone is entitled to fear the unknown and diminishing these fears can only express condescending tones or belittling your husband. Work together to make things happen and always participates in the conversation with expressing trust and confidence towards him. The only thing you can control is being physically and emotionally present and always learn to validate his feelings as true.
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Strategic ways to make your marriage divorce proof. Hang on, it should be a wild ride.
Our older generation became experts when it comes to relationships, marriages and learning way to fix problems instead of just replacing them. The newer generation isn’t playing the field with the same mindset. If you look at the new Iphone releases where you see thousands of people camping outside the local Apple store to get their hands on an Iphone that doesn’t offer any incredible new features compared to their older model that works PERFECTLY fine, but yet, they feel it needs replacement. A couple of thousand dollars later, they are not changing much of their usage level compared to their older model. Nevertheless, the trend is here to stay until the new generation really understands the sanctity of marriage and the importance on working together to guarantee a divorce-proof union.
So here are some ways that smart people use to guarantee a long term and happy marriage with their significant other.
1. They have similar goals and work together to make those goals a reality.
The first thing you should ask your spouse is, “What do you aspire to create in your life? Or “Where do you see our life in 10 years from now? What are the dreams you want to achieve as 2, instead of one?
It’s vital that your hopes and expectations align, otherwise misery may take over your relationship. Basically, when your expectations do not match your vision, you will feel resentment for each other, especially if one of the spouse have to let go of their dream to make the other’s come true. Every one has an equal right to pursue their goals and stay inspired by their pursuit of happiness. This is where most couples fails at and ends up with lots of toxicity and very expensive divorce. That cannot be sustained in the long run. When communicating with each other, try discussing these points prior to getting married, as doing it after can be counter-intuitive. When doing so, keep the following points in mind: Where would you both want to live? Are you more into renting or owning a home? If owning, the size of the house will depend on the size of your family, so how big would you want that? About careers, what are the expectations from one to the other? If someone is more into starting a business, will the other one pick up the slack with their steady salary during the first few years of the business to pay for all the bills until the business generates revenue? If you are an adventurer, are you more into exploring the rest of the world or staying put? Make sure to take time to answer these questions prior to walking down the aisle and signing the marriage certificate. It is always easier to get married than getting divorced.
2. Family dynamics and responsibilities towards the extended members of the clan — and getting along with the latter
Family relationships are sometimes a highly sensitive and emotional issue, so it’s vital to be on the same page as your spouse in this regard. Some cultures are more inclined to keeping the family close by, even after marriage. Italians, Greeks, Latinos and many more feel that their close knit family mindset is to go on even when trying to build a family on their own. It is not uncommon that some with extended family will meet every weekend for a large gathering while eating delicious foods and play all afternoon at the park. Depending on who you decided to tie the knot with, they may not perceive this weekend gathering as something they want to partake in.
In the minute chance that they are inclined in wanting to be there and enjoy family time with your extended clan, then you are in luck and should cherish it.
Another major issue that can create tension is when one of the spouses is a caretaker for one or both of their parents and uses lots of their income to pay for their medical bills, which leaves almost nothing left to pay for their own bills or afford much of anything. This in itself can cause lots of strife and resentment between the couples. It can be very difficult to separate yourself from this situation as you committed yourself to her, which indirectly committed to members of her family.
3. Fitness is and should be each others number 1 priority — and align with actions and behavior
Your views toward health and fitness, as well as any present health difficulties, are all vital elements to consider in any prospective marriage. This is far too crucial to be unauthentic or to omit to give any facts or family history you may already be aware of. However, aside from your basic health, you must also have your beliefs aligned related to fitness and overall activity levels. How important is eating healthy and fitness regimen? If you’re a practicing vegan and a gym junkie, you’re likely to clash with a spouse who is only a couch potato and junk food junkie. Always remember that couples who work-out together, stay together.
Here is one important question to consider: Is it vital to you to have a regular fitness routine with your spouse, or would you prefer a workout between you and your Bluetooth earbuds? Is your spouse in the same activity level as you or the difference of weight between you both are in the couple hundred pounds?
What is more upsetting to you: missing out on your favorite Netflix series or not getting in a workout?
Is your fitness routine a crucial point to make your relationship thrive? Can weight gain completely obliterate your sex life and in of your spouse? Will losing attraction towards them bend you forward towards cheating on that person?
4. Money conscious: Who is the spender and who is the frugal?
Money is claimed to be the number one stressor in relationships, and nothing brings out more tension, stress, and animosity than two individuals on completely different financial pages. If you’re a saver and your spouse has maxed up credit cards, it’s a deal breaker no matter how much you love your partner. Don’t fool yourself. It is more apparent that the new generation is doing background investigation on the ones they date prior to engagement to figure out their credit score, or they debt to income ratio to make sure this person is a viable mate. It is not uncommon to see more and more people going into relationship and looking for sugar daddies or mommies to take them out of their financial ruins. No one is responsible to do that except yourself. Putting this responsibility into someone else isn’t fair for that person and should start looking at better options.
Make sure to set up a financial plan for both of you to agree upon short, mid and long terms. Have some bank accounts separate and some in common. Save equally for bigger purchases (home, cars, and whatever) but each should have their own spending account so they don’t need to depend on the other to get a manicure or go fishing with friends. Financial literacy should be taught in every school across the nation so we can avoid these future pitfalls in relationship.
5. Sanctity of marriage: How to avoid falling for temptation and end up regretting it.
What importance do you place on having the same values and expectations when it comes to monogamy and infidelity? Can the latter cause so much strife between couple that the marriage will imminently end up in divorce? In some cases, divorce is NOT the best solution.
It can be a hard pill to swallow to accept the prospect of having only one partner for the rest of their lives as it may sound like a life sentence with no possibility of parole.
For some, it is the most straightforward deal-breaker on the planet. The thought of waking up with the same person day in and day out can be suicidal at best. Hence, the reason why many are just not meant to be or stay married.
So what happens if these two get married? Is open marriage an option to keep the relationship sizzling for longer period of time? Is swinging another possible option (as long as you both stay safe) to keep the marriage healthy? Communication is key and it is crucial that all this is being discussed before appearing in circuit court and pronouncing: “I do” to each other.
6. Building a family: What are each other expectations?
There are many undiscussed expectations when it comes to the size of family either spouse wants. If one of the spouse is born in a large family with many siblings, chances are that they would want to get as close as they can with the numbers they had when growing up. On the other hand, the other spouse may have had no siblings, and living this way was perfectly fine when growing up. It is crucial to discuss these expectations to avoid disappointment. It is also crucial that if you do have a large family in mind when it comes to the near future, it is also important to consider the finances related to a large clan. Make sure to consider that your spouse can’t take the full burden to financially provide for everyone. A heart to heart discussion is a must to avoid these kinds of disappointments.
There are a lot more questions to ask if you go further. What is your timetable for having children?
Do you want to start trying right away, or do you want to wait until later?
What type of disciplinarian do you consider yourself to be? Are you a rigid, no-nonsense person, or are you more laid-back and adaptable?
What about public verses private schools?
As you can see, there are several critical elements that necessitate mutually agreed-upon judgments in just this one area.
7. What are your religious beliefs to implement in the household. If two different religion due to different upbringing, which religion will be the dominant one?
It literally comes down to who you think is the one that practice the most its religion.
In other words, how important is spirituality or faith to you?
Do you consider yourself a devoted religious person or an atheist?
Do you have any holiday customs or religious rituals?
What are your thoughts on which religion will the kids follow? The mother or the father?
Would you send your children to Sunday religious schools or sports?
Even if you first believe you’re on the same page, keep in mind that people’s ideas tend to fluctuate and evolve over the course of a lifetime. In some cases, if one of the spouse never followed any religion, it is more likely for them to be more lenient when it comes to which religion the household will follow.
Essentially, if you don’t address these difficulties, you won’t have a chance of long-term success.
There is much to discuss and resolve before you can properly settle down and built a long term and happy marriage. Even though this checklist is based on my knowledge and extensive clinical research, please bear in mind that there is no one answer fits all scenarios. There are multiple complexities and variations when it comes to deciding which spouse would be the best fit among the billion others out there, so it is imperative that you choose wisely. Falling in love at first sight is great, but staying in love for life will keep your eyesight out of divorce court.
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12 essential strategies to rekindling a failing marriage: You can customize each of them as you wish
Marriage is difficult. We all want to fall in love with that ONE person and live happily ever after. Some cases, the true soulmate exist and love continues on until death do them part. The other majority experience challenges daily and some of these experiences can shatter the foundation of their love, which in some cases, can be difficult to bring back. IF that occurs, is there a way to revert back to how they felt the first day they met? Can couples overcome the boredom, the ritual, the obligations of households and family responsibilities? We will tackle this subject by sharing key strategies in rekindling a failing marriage.
1. Avoid adopting a critical perspective.
There may have been times when your partner did something hurtful to you and never apologized.
Maybe they’ll keep doing it even after you tell them how much it annoys you.
According to neuropsychologist and life coach Sydney Ceruto, Ph.D., this might cause you to become resentful towards them.
“At some point, any person in a marriage may find themselves observing their partner through a critical lens,” Dr. Ceruto explains. “Spouses also start magnifying or zeroing in on their partner’s mistakes, cataloguing their flaws, and building a case to use at a later date,” she adds. “It is way too easy when you live in close quarters with someone to pick them apart and get annoyed at some of their habits, when after all, the truth is, your partner probably always had these qualities, even when you first fell in love.”
2. Consider what you like and appreciate about your significant other
When you need to ask your spouse for something that might be interpreted as nagging, limit your request to three phrases at most.
“The art of being assertive without coming off as aggressive lies in being succinct and using a warm tone of voice and body language,” Bowman explains.
“When you keep your requests to three sentences or fewer, it’s almost impossible to blame, use sarcasm or use put-downs.” It’s also much more probable that you’ll get your message through without distracting your partner. Make your request while smiling. Be genuine and upbeat. You may even place your hand on his leg and remark, “The home is a shambles, and I’m exhaustted from a busy day at work. Could you assist me with cleaning this place? I could definitely need your assistance.”
4. Don’t be too confident about yourself.
How to Use Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes. “Couples must actively plan how they will handle their money: combine it?
Is it possible to separate it? Make a joint account while keeping some separate? Whatever choice is made, both individuals must be a part of it and then work out what has to be done to keep the system running.”
